3 Things Daphne Free At 50 Would Tell Daphne at 25:
The Path to Professional Freedom is About Self-Care

This special guest blog post is brought to you by my blogging friend Daphne Reznik from the incredible blog, Daphne Free at 50!

Daphne Reznik is the creator of the Free At 50 blog, which focuses on life after corporate, how to transition into professional freedom and resources to create income streams.  She has a diverse background having worked in state government, small business, and most recently, a large corporate entity.  Her experience supporting businesses and leading a national staff training program provided her with a skill set she is using to design a lifestyle as a blogger and to inspire others.

I won’t make you wait any longer!  Here she is!

This post may contain affiliate links which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure for more information.

I spent 30 years putting others before me, living life 9-5, 8-6 and even weekends.

There are so many things I would tell Daphne at 25 now that I’m living life as Daphne Free at 50! The value of self-care has to be at the top of the list. My journey out of the 9-5 and into professional freedom was a winding road of experience, stress, and accomplishment. All three of those things made me who and I am and brought me to Williamsburg Virginia during the pandemic. My layoff was a blessing and I talk about that journey here.

I started my professional life as an intern in the Michigan Legislature at age 19. I went right from interning to working full-time when I graduated at age 21. After years of politics, I got into a long-term relationship with the man in my life- and I was over the political lifestyle.

Pivot number one: off into managing a small business. Which led to pivot number two: working for a national member-driven association, which was sold to venture-capitalists and, ultimately, our largest vendor: a multi-national corporation. In short, I worked in many structures over my 30 years but one thing was constant: someone else always owned my time.

Realization: self-care was not a priority until my 40s, and it should have been first and foremost all along. Here are the three points I’d tell my younger self.

Point number 1 About Self-Care: Take Breaks.

My a-ha moment came when I was laid off from my 9-5 due to Covid budget constraints.

The a-ha is: I was getting a BREAK after doing the traditional 9-5 for literally decades. I’d not had more than a week off in 30 years.

Add to that I was always available, even before cell phones…and my awareness of this fact was mind-blowing.

So I took a break as I decided my next move. This move: blogging. Because owning my time became a priority.

Don’t shortchange yourself, take ownership of your time as much as possible.

It’s funny looking back. I KNEW I was short-changing myself and being short-changed by others, yet I allowed it to happen. This is why I now focus on the term professional freedom so much; I finally feel like I am free.

Even with it written into employment manuals and salary agreements that a certain amount of vacation is given, it really isn’t.

You need to:

• Get approval.
• Have access to email or respond to calls.
• Make your vacation dates work for the company, your boss, and your colleagues.

Don’t be Daphne at age 25 or 35 or even at age 48.

Take the vacation and turn off your cell phone.

You deserve the mental break. Be adamant about what is given to you. I’m not saying to blow off your work but make a plan when you decide to break that includes the ability to truly step away.

Your co-workers won’t be angry. In fact, they may follow your lead and be willing to support your time off knowing you will do the same for them!

Ways you can plan to completely unplug:

• Outline your needs on any tasks, projects, or meetings you’ll miss in an email to your boss, clients, co-workers, or anyone impacted. Give others the opportunity to collaborate with you, grow in their role (for example, replace you in a meeting), or provide you with information you need to have for your return.
• Share status of your work the same way as above to be clear on expectations and deadlines.
• Let everyone impacted know exactly which day you will be available again and set up calls/meetings with each individually or in small groups for when you return.

Point number 2 about self-care: Health comes first, always.

I skipped the dentist, a lot.

When I worked in politics, I went a couple YEARS without seeing a dentist. Seriously. Because my boss constantly made me reschedule. She didn’t care about my health. It was one of the most toxic periods in my professional life.

Looking back, not only was I limited on being able to go get medical attention, but I was likely taking years off my life working for her. The stress and internalized anger (as well as some self-medicating supported by bartenders I got to know well), was truly unhealthy.

I won’t set up a pity party in this post: it was totally my fault.

I allowed this behavior.

So how do you put your health first when you:

1. Don’t want to lose your 9-5 job?
2. Cannot control the actions of those “above” you?

What I would tell my younger self is this: there is always a tomorrow so stick to your guns when your health needs attention. Even basic preventative attention.

If you get fired for wanting to put your health first? I can look back at age 51 and say “so what”- there is always a way. You’re a smart cookie, you will figure it out. And there are many of us online and in real life that can support you.

A friend told me once (and I’m paraphrasing!) whatever you’re working on and stressed over, will anyone remember it in a month? A year? 5 years? Most things, no.

What will matter? If you are healthy and are around in a month, a year, and 5 years. Health is a priority, don’t let anyone treat you as if it is not. In fact, you cannot optimally perform in the workplace if you are not healthy.

Ways to focus on your health daily.

I recently did a mental cleanse challenge. It was amazing. Turns out I was doing many of the things in my new Free At 50 life focused on professional freedom, but dang how great if I would’ve been doing some of this stuff all along!

So I’m sharing some of the ideas with you.

• Unplug completely for a set amount of time. (set a timer!)
• Exercise. (take a 15-minute walk outdoors if hitting the gym is not your thing!)
• Write down things you are grateful for. (keep a journal and take 5 or 10 minutes to list them!)
• Meditate. (there are apps for this!)
• Read for pure enjoyment. (grab some fiction!)

Point number 3 about self-care: People are an amazing resource in and out of
the 9-5.

I’ll keep this short: people will help you in more ways than you can imagine.

I wrote about coaches, mentors, and peers in detail here.

Why does this apply to self-care? Easy to answer. People can motivate you, empower you, and ensure you do not feel alone. This can lessen anxiety, help you re-charge and of course, enhance your personal growth.

Use your time working for others to gain the expertise you need to attain
professional freedom.

I live in Colonial Williamsburg now, it’s the epitome of professional freedom to me: living anywhere and spending time with who I choose, when I choose. I have visited here for years and moving here was a goal. Now it’s my reality.

Everyone’s journey is different, but I am adamant about the idea that skills are vital. Look at every job, every experience (positive or negative) as a way to enhance your skill set.

When you make the decision to change jobs, or like me, leave 9-5 life, you can use those skills that you’ve gained to create your next chapter, and you’ll get there by implementing some self-care!

This, my friends, is professional freedom at any age. And if you want more inspiration and resources, follow me here.

Related reading:

Here’s My Exact Guide to Using Self-Talk to Gain Confidence

The 4 Tips You Need to Know to Intentionally Set and Achieve Your Goals

Stop Wondering How to Prioritize You: The What, Why, and How of Self-Love

14 Super Simple Tips for Renewed Energy- Stop Wondering How to Care for Your Body

Live Fully Today- There’s a HUGE Perk!