Sure, we all strive to “be better” right? Be a better wife, mom, sister, Christian. But being better is kind of vague. Where do we start? Who do we emulate? How should we be?
Thankfully, there’s a chapter in the bible that outlines this incredibly clearly for us. It’s as if God knew we’d crave growth and have the desire to embody the characteristics of godly women.
The characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman outline exactly who and how we should be.
If you feel like you don’t embody or want to better embody the characteristics of a godly woman or you feel like you don’t know how to live the life of a godly woman, or you feel inadequate to live that life, keep reading.
In this post, you’ll learn who the Proverbs 31 woman is and how to start embodying her which will allow you to deepen your faith, honor God, and support your family well.
This post may contain affiliate links which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure for more information.
16 Attributes and Characteristics of a Proverbs 31 Woman Explained
Let’s dive right into the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman. The 16 attributes listed below are a comprehensive list of what’s mentioned in this Bible chapter. From high moral standards to self-discipline, to trustworthiness, this picture of a godly woman is definitely a high calling. So let’s break down each characteristic so you know how to live them out.
1. She is More Precious than Jewels: She’s Rare
In Proverbs 31:10, Solomon, the author, writes that a woman who fears the Lord is “far more precious than jewels.” This means that she’s rare. She’s one of a kind, unique, and definitely not a dime a dozen.
This reminds me, and makes me feel okay about the fact that as a Christian, I shouldn’t act or be like every other girl out there. I should be different. Different is good! Rare and unique is good.
2. The Proverbs 31 Woman is Virtuous and has High Moral Standards
Verses 10 and 29 hint at this “ideal” godly woman as being virtuous with high moral standards. This woman surpasses the rest. She’s upright and right-minded.
In the list of characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman, this one reminds me to maintain an upstanding attitude.
She’s Virtuous, She’s Blessed by Her Family
As a happy consequence of her virtuousness, she’s in turn, blessed by her family. In verse 11, we see that she doesn’t lack gain and in verse 28, both her children and her husband praise her and call her blessed.
This is encouraging for us today, because being virtuous is something we need to work at, and we’re not working “for nothing.” On the other side of it is blessing!
3. She Has a Strong Relationship with God and She’s God-Fearing
According to this passage, to live like a Proverbs 31 woman, you have an active and strong relationship with God. You can see this in verse 30, the woman described in this passage fears the Lord.
How to Nurture Your Relationship with God
There are tons of ways to nurture your relationship with God including surrounding yourself with a community of believers, getting into the Word, and being active in your prayer life.
Here’s the how-to:
- Find and regularly go to a church that feeds you
- Ensure you’re walking away from church service with actionable takeaways and quality fellowship with those who have sound doctrine.
- Start reading your Bible regularly
- Download the Bible App or buy a devotional and read daily. Try journaling your thoughts and sitting in stillness to meditate on the Word and allow space for God to reveal things to you.
- Have conversation with God daily
- Nothing fancy required here, just talk to Him every day. You don’t have to have an hour-long, drawn-out prayer. You can be in conversation with Him many times a day for short amounts of time. I’ve written about how to have a meaningful prayer life, too.
4. The Proverbs 31 Woman is Respectful: She Controls Her Tongue and is Wise with Her Words
The essential qualities of a virtuous woman include being mindful of your words. You can become a Proverbs 31 woman by controlling your tongue.
Verse 26 highlights this: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
You can do the same by asking yourself if the words you’re about to say to that annoying neighbor or challenging family member are helpful or hurtful. Be mindful and aware, not only of your intentions, but what words you attach to those intentions.
5. She is Strong and Graceful
Pay attention to this characteristic of a godly woman, because it’s included twice in Proverbs 31. Verse 17 says, “She dresses herself with strength” and verse 25 says, “strength and dignity are her clothing.”
Of all the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman, this one is mentioned two times, so it’s important.
What these verses are saying is that it’s important for Christian women to be strong. Work on being strong in your faith, strong in your relationships, strong in your daily tasks, strong in your identity.
If you struggle with your identity as a Christian, I’ve written about that for you!
6. The Proverbs 31 Woman is Happily a Hard Worker
Are you a hard worker? If so, do you work hard happily?
Both of these characteristics are important if you want to be a woman that honors God. We definitely don’t always get this one right. Life gets exhausting and our work can make us bitter and resentful.
| Related Reading: 6 Must-Have Tips to Find Balance in Your Life and Manage All Your Responsibilities
This is a wonderful reminder to watch our attitude as we work. This work can be any type of work, too. Work in your career or work at home. I know I get grumpy when I have a lot of chores to do. I need to hear this verse for sure.
Pay attention to verses 13-16:
13 “She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She Knows What She Brings to the Table
What I love about this girl is that she knows exactly what she has to offer and where she has value. This woman is capable!
Look at Proverbs 31:18, “She perceives that her merchandise is profitable…”
Know your worth, girl. A godly woman does. It’s not too prideful for you to understand what you bring to the table.
So often, women undermine their capabilities to minimize themselves. To appear smaller and take up less space. Humbleness and self-deprecation are two totally different things. Be proud of who you are and what you have to offer.
| Related Reading: How to be a Confident Woman: 6 Killer Ways to Build Confidence
7. She is Self-Disciplined
Proverbs 31 reminds us that part of being a godly woman is being disciplined.
For some reason, self-discipline is the downfall of a lot of us. It can be so difficult to find and maintain the willpower to do what we set out to do. Restraint and self-control play a big role in our ability to be self-disciplined.
Look at verse 15: “She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household…” In verses 13-16 and vers 24, a godly woman is embodied in the way she has the motivation to work and provide and make things to sell.
She Manages Her Time Well
Time management is part of being disciplined and motivated. The end of verse 27 highlights how “she… does not eat the bread of idleness.”
This means she’s not content being inactive or lazy. Take a page out of this woman’s book and be mindful of how you spend your time. Are you wasting the day away on your phone or losing time working on things that don’t really matter.
Don’t get me wrong, free time and “me” time are SO important, and I believe you should make time for those things weekly, if not daily. But here, I’m talking about managing your productive time well.
Time is a limited resource, so get in the habit of being mindful how you spend your precious time.
8. The Proverbs 31 Woman Provides Well for Her Household, Delights in Service and Good Works
Again, look at verse 27 (the beginning of the verse this time). “She looks well to the ways of her household. Verses 13-16 also show this woman’s willingness to look after her family and her household.
Maybe you’re thinking, sure, she could look after her household because she didn’t have a 9-5 like me. Honestly, I struggle with this thought too. By the time the weekend comes around after working a full-time job, Monday through Friday, I barely have it in my to do all of the chores that need to get done.
But don’t forget, you going to work every day IS you providing well for your household. So what if it’s super dusty under the couch and you didn’t get to all the cleaning tasks you wanted to over the weekend. That’s not the end of the world.
| Related Reading: Cleaning Challenge
She Operates Within Her Gifts
Providing for your household looks different from person to person. For some, it looks like keeping up with the home and providing care for children. For others, it looks like making and selling candles on Etsy to bring in extra money. For still others, it looks like waking up at 5:30 AM to go to your 9-5 job that pays the bills.
What’s important is that included in the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman is the ability to operate within her gifts. THAT’S how you can provide for your household. Understand your gifts and what you do well and have skill in, and do that thing.
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a latter-climbing, glass-ceiling-breaking career woman, operate with the gifts God has given you, and you’ll be providing well for your family.
9. She Presents Herself Well
Verses 21 and 22 can be a bit confusing.
21 “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 “She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.”
I read some commentary on these verses and it appears that some of the characteristics of a virtuous woman include presenting herself and her family well as well using quality materials and well-made garments.
Verse 30 also explains that this woman doesn’t put too much stock in looks, “beauty is vain.”
The takeaway here for me is to be mindful of how I present myself to the outside world, and not put my value in my appearance. Of course, this is way easier said than done. I really struggle with accidentally placing too much value in how I look, especially my body.
So this is a timely reminder that looks aren’t everything.
10. The Proverbs 31 Woman is a Good Wife
Proverbs 31 explains how a godly, virtuous woman will act and who she is. According to this guideline, Christian women should strive to be good partners to their spouses. Luckily for us, these verses tell us exactly how: dedication.
She Dedicates Herself To Strengthening her Marriage and Husband
Verses 11 and 12 show us that to strengthen a marriage, we need to be dedicated.
11 “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
This ideal godly, virtuous woman does her husband good rather than harm.
To me, this means I should embody the characteristics of a virtuous woman by supporting my husband, and dedicating my time and energy to him so he feels loved and cherished.
I strive to strengthen my marriage by giving my husband my full attention when we’re together. A while ago, I was challenged to put down my phone when my husband talks to me. So whenever I’m scrolling away and Caleb starts talking to me, I consciously put my phone down and look at him. It’s one small way I show him love and dedication in this busy world.
She Positively Influences her Husband
Check out verse 23, “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.”
It seems to me that an important quality of a virtuous woman is the ability to positively impact her husband. She has influence over her husband and how others in his life perceive him.
You know the saying: Behind every successful man is a strong woman.
Ways to Pray for Your Husband
You can live like a Proverbs 31 woman by consistently praying for your husband. I’ve made praying for Caleb a normal part of my daily prayer.
I pray about the things he struggles with, I pray for contentment in his career, that he would always be desiring the Lord, for his health, for success in his pursuits, for our relationship, and that we would always be gentle with one another, among other things.
I think that active prayer for your spouse is such a valuable thing to incorporate into your prayer life. Not only will you both reap the blessings, but it can strengthen your relationship with God when you see how He delivers.
Here’s a list of verses you can pray over your husband if you’re looking for a place to start.
11. She is Honorable and Trustworthy
You can become a Proverbs 31 woman if you follow in the footsteps of verse 11:
11 “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.”
Be a woman who can be trusted! Trusted by your husband and trustworthy in general. This comes full circle since the first characteristic of a godly woman that we discussed was about being morally upstanding. These two things go hand in hand.
Be honorable in your words and actions. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Don’t be deceitful or even omit the truth when it comes to your relationships. I always stand by the belief that honesty truly is the BEST policy.
When you have to say something that is hard to say, or you’re having a hard time being honest, I find that a helpful way to start the conversation is to say a phrase like, “In the interest of honest and open communication…”
I have truly never regretted being honest. And I pretty much always regret when I’m dishonest.
12. The Proverbs 31 Woman is Financially Wise and Charitible
If you want to have the qualities of a virtuous woman, be mindful of how you handle your money.
Do you spend frivolously on random things you don’t need? Do you buy in excess? Sorry (but not really) if I called you out right there.
Verse 16 says, “She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.”
To me, this sounds like she’s weighed all her options before purchasing, and she made sure it was a wise way to spend her money. We should strive to do the same.
I’ve already written about how to manage your money well.
She Gives Joyfully to Others and the Church
Not only is a godly woman financially wise, but she’s also charitable. Check out verse 20: “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hand to the needy.”
This reminds me to be generous with my money. Money is a resource God gives us to steward well. It’s hard when things are tight, but this means giving joyfully to your church.
The Bible reminds us to tithe, too.
Proverbs 11:24
“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.”
2 Corinthians 9:7
“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
13. She is Kind and Has a Heart for Others
The woman described in Proverbs 31 exemplifies kindness, and this passage is our reminder that being a godly woman includes showing kindness in all areas of our lives. This can be a challenge when the little things in life start to annoy us. It’s easy to develop a short fuse and react instead of respond with kindness.
But the woman in this passage provides us with a clear example of how to be kind in our teaching and kind to others through our words.
She Teaches with Kindness
Again, look at verse 26, “… the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” This can apply to so much, including teaching her children, directing her staff at work, supporting her friend through a hard time, or guiding her neighbor in how to take care of her garden or bake sourdough.
When you teach or instruct or guide someone, be gentle and kind in your instruction. Choose encouraging words!
She Uplifts and Encourages Others Through her Words
Along with kindness in your teaching, we can apply this verse to your life as a whole. Be a woman who encourages others with your words. As tempting as it may be to feel jealous of your friend for her recent success, do your best to celebrate her instead!
Your words have a crazy amount of influence on those around you, so use them to lift others up! Not only does it make them feel amazing, but it feels so good for you to support others instead of bringing them down or harboring jealousy.
Uplifting words and actions are one of my favorite characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m all about encouragement here on the blog.
14. The Proverbs 31 Woman is a Good Mom
Not only is the woman in Proverbs 31 trustworthy and moral and kind and strong in her faith, but she’s an amazing mom, too! Man, this girl has it going on!
Keep in mind that the woman here is what we should strive to be. It’s totally normal and okay not to have all of this on lock just yet. It’s just our guide.
She’s Mindful of How She Talks and What She Says
She’s a good mom because she’s mindful of her tongue, which we already covered in verse 26. She watches what she says AND she’s kind with her words.
I could sure take a page out of her book here, how about you?
15. She is Prepared for the Future
Verse 21 is a funny one, a little confusing, “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.”
After doing some reading, I was reminded that snow would be unusual for this woman to experience, given the climate of Israel. This verse, to me, is explaining how a woman of God is always prepared.
16. She is Praiseworthy: She Deserves Praise for Her Deeds
It’s pretty clear that this girl is exemplary, and we can hope to be half as amazing as her. She definitely deserves praise for all of her characteristics. She strengthens everything around her!
She Strengthens and Blesses her Home and Family
A woman with all of these qualities of a virtuous woman deserves a little thanks and praise. She works in every way to strengthen not only the members of her family but the household overall. She does all that she can to take care of her home and her family, working hard, being patient and kind, giving to others, and clothing herself in strength.
See verses 21-23 and 27-28 to see how she strengthens her family and home. We should aim to do the same. Everything we do should be with the goal of supporting what God’s entrusted to us.
The 16 Qualities of a Virtuous Woman
Here’s a simple, bare-bones list of the qualities of a godly, virtuous woman:
- Rare
- Moral/virtuous
- Faithful/God-fearing
- Respectful/Wise with her tongue
- Strong
- Hard-working
- Self-disciplined
- Delights in service/a Provider
- Presents herself well
- A good wife
- Trustworthy
- Financially wise and charitable
- Kind with a heart for others
- A good mom
- Prepared
- Praiseworthy
Proverbs 31 ESV Version
Here’s the chapter pulled right from the Bible so you can read it for yourself. This is the ESV version. Also, keep in mind that the description of the woman we’ve been talking about starts in verse 10.
1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:
2 What are you doing, my son?[a] What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?
3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress;
7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.
8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. The Woman Who Fears the Lord
10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
What Does It Mean To Be A Proverbs 31 Woman
Now you know exactly who the Proverbs 31 woman is. But what does it mean for you?
This passage is a guide or outline of all the things Christian women should aspire to be. So what does it mean to be a Proverbs 31 woman? It means to be all the things in the list above- or to try your stinking best to embody as many of these characteristics as often as possible.
I don’t think this passage was given to us to make us feel bad for all the areas we’re not measuring up in. I think it was meant to inspire us to be the best versions of ourselves.
Being a Proverbs 31 woman means you’re actively working on bettering yourself to further honor God and live out your purpose.
I’ve written about finding your purpose, if you need help with that.
Work toward being your best self with a little help!
Grab this simple habit tracker so you can work on embodying your best self! It’s super helpful to create effective, healthy, life-giving habits as you work to incorporate the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman into your own life!
Be sure to check the promotional and spam folders in your email for the download!
Where Did the Proverbs 31 Woman Come From?
To put it simply, the Proverbs 31 woman came from the thirty-first chapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible.
The author, King Solomon, wrote this book as a message to his son on how to live. Chapter 31 is the last chapter of the letter he wrote. He’s advising his son on who the ideal woman would be to marry.
And for us today, we can use this chapter as a guide for how to be a godly, Christian woman.
Who Is the Woman In Proverbs 31?
The unnamed woman in Proverbs 31 isn’t technically a real woman at all. She’s a mockup of the ideal woman.
What she is, though, is what most of us are today, a busy woman, maybe a wife and or mom, who has it going on. She’s managing all of her responsibilities well, and honoring God in all she does.
What Can We Learn from the Woman in Proverbs 31?
In short, we can learn how to exist well from all of the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman.
How to exist well includes how to present ourselves, how to act, how to speak, how to work, and how to treat others.
What is a Proverbs 31 Woman in Today’s World?
Sure, this passage was written a loooong time ago, but it still has strong application for us gals today.
Maybe we’re not making our own clothes or buying a field, but we do function in so many capacities and roles where we can operate within the characteristics of a virtuous woman.
To be a Proverbs 31-inspired woman today, we should simply always be striving to do our best and be pleasing God.
How Do You Become A Proverbs 31 Woman Today? Action Steps to Embody Her Characteristics
Action steps are key here. You know all about who the ideal Christian woman is, but how do you begin to embody her? Take any one of the items in the list below to start with and you’ll be on your way to embodying the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman!
- Be Different on Purpose
Being a Christian definitely causes you to seem different than the average Joe in today’s world. Lean into that and let people question what’s so different about you- why you’re so happy, or patient, or grateful, or full of life.
- Ask Yourself if it’s the Right Thing to Do
If you’re not sure what the right thing to do is, always refer back to James 4:17, “ So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” Sometimes it’s really that simple and clear-cut.
- Actively be Working on Understanding your Gifts
Explore your interests and things that are pulling you. That’s how you gain a better understanding of what your God-given gifts are. And when you know your gifts, you can operate within them to better serve both your family and home AND the Lord.
- Be Active in Your Faith- The Christian Life Isn’t Passive
Do everything you can to be actively growing in your faith. You know what I’m going to say, actively attend church and get involved in serving, dig into your Bible, talk to God daily.
But also, regularly challenge things that you’re not sure of. This is how you grow in your faith. I did this when I dug into how manifestation fits into my Christian life. Don’t shy away from questioning things within your faith.
- Pray About the Characteristics You Really Struggle to Embody
If you struggle with something specific from the list of characteristics of a virtuous woman that I wrote out above, bring it to God! Maybe you have a particularly hard time with self-discipline, or you really struggle to be wise with your money. Bring that concern to God! He wants you to come to Him with your struggles.
- Have Integrity in Your Work
Whatever your work situation is like, have integrity in that role. Be on time, do your work well and to the best of your ability, respect your boss and coworkers. Work hard and work well.
| Related Reading: 10 Ways to Increase Motivation in the Workplace: #10 May Surprise You
7. Increase your Motivation (to increase self-discipline)
Take steps to amp up your motivation. This will help you in the area of self-discipline. Try to take breaks, add in rewards, and make what you have to do as pleasant as possible to increase your motivation. Develop habits that help you
- Build your Confidence
- Pray for your family
- Honor your word
- Get ahold of your finances and start spending more wisely
- Do one small act of kindness every day
- Speak gently to your kids
Proverbs 31 Woman Resources
If you want to become a Proverbs 31 woman, grab a bible study that delves into exactly how to embody the qualities of a virtuous woman. Where better than to dive into the characteristics of a godly woman than from the passage in the bible itself?
Proverbs 31 Woman Devotional/Bible Study
Sometimes, it can be a little intimidating to dive straight into a passage. That’s why I find it super helpful to use a devotional or bible study along with my bible reading.
Often times, a bible study will give you helpful context and background as well as further material and information that you may not have known about the passage in the bible that you’re studying.
Here are some great options!
Let’s Bring it Home
Armed with this whole list of characteristics and action steps to start living them out, you’ll be able to ditch feelings of inadequacy and live the life of a godly woman. You’ll notice your faith will deepen, you’ll be better able to honor God, and you’ll be supporting your family well.
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My mom was a Proverbs 31 woman. She took care of the family, was involved in church, and was so kind and helpful to others. People called her blessed. Good Article!
It’s such a blessing when we’re able to point to women in our lives who exemplify the Proverbs 31 woman!